Some nights, I’m an insomniac. I often find those particular nights the best for getting easy things done like catching up on my Google Reader subscriptions or finding new and interesting blogs to peruse. Last night I read an entry in Derek Powazek’s blog that really struck a chord and inspired me to do something similar. I’m going to start blogging in a series I’m dubbing “Lesson Learned”. I’m by no means a wise old man, but I’ve had enough experience thus far in my 24 years of life to give a little advice on certain things. Here’s why you should never work for someone who you don’t respect:
It seems like such a simple principal. We don’t befriend people we don’t respect, so why would we choose to work for them? It’s a difficult and weighty question, especially in this economic climate where finding a job is the equivalent of striking oil in your backyard. Regardless, it’s a rule I’ve followed since my return to freelancing and as a result I’ve had my share of interviews with people that I’ve respected highly (and “knew enough to be dangerous” in a variety of fields) to people who I knew, from minutes into our conversation, I would simply not work for.
Anyway, this boss of mine was a person who commanded very little respect from his subordinates. The feeling was mutual between the majority of the people that worked there, somedays akin to an Us vs. Him scenario. He was sleazy and often two-faced, demeaning and a self-admitted control freak. Despite not knowing the subtleties of the work we did on a day-to-day basis, he would often demand instant results and micromanage our tasks into oblivion. He gave words of encouragement followed thereafter by all of the things he thought you were doing wrong. At first I took it as friendly advice, I later learned this is the managerial equivalent of an ultimatum.
Despite what you may think at this point, he wasn’t entirely bad. He was generous, funny, and involved (even if you didn’t want him to be). I think on any given day he tried to be both a boss and a friend, which is a difficult and dangerous path to walk.
So why didn’t I quit? Well, I was young and the pay was good. I found out the things I now know gradually so by the time I pieced them all together, I already had some seniority at the company – people depending on and looking to me for answers. Personally, that’s a great feeling because I love learning new things and teaching what I already know to others. It also offset the negative energy emanating from the boss’ general direction.
I didn’t realize how heavy the albatross around my neck was until I let it sink. My eyes slowly opened and I saw that it was quickly becoming a job I loathed all because of one person. The conversations and interactions I had with my coworkers, however miniscule, were the reason I got out of bed every morning.
In short, it doesn’t matter what type of work you’re involved in because respect is universal and intrinsic. You could respect your boss at McDonald’s because he works his ass off to support his family. You could also respect your manager in a Fortune 500 company because he runs a marathon twice a year to benefit a noble cause. Just remember this: Respect is a two way street. If you’re not getting it, chances are you probably aren’t giving it.
I know how you feel. My boss is a good guy but he tries to do so much that he’s often dropping the ball. And he’s always got his head up the client’s arse. He’s also not the smartest when it comes to general knowledge. He didn’t even know what qwerty was, he didn’t know what xml is. Thing is he was a developer for many years but never updated his skills, now he’s a director of the company as well. I’m leaving. enough.
I don’t agree with your last comment. People who have a high emotional intelligence have learnt to give others respect but it doesn’t mean it will come back. I have been in some volatile offices where people have high school level emotional intelligence and make fools of themselves by treating others with disrespect who treat them with respect. However, I do agree that life is short and avoiding a toxic office is the best way to go. We are lucky in this day and age where you can quit a job to go to another one and no one blinks an eye.