It seems just like any other lazy Sunday save for the scintilla of electricity in the air. The smell of atmosphere through the gray sky that always seems present before moments of great change. Without cliché, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life and I’m in “the zone” − an almost zen-like mindset observing as fate unfolds and personal history is made. Gone are the days of chronic ataraxia slipping through my fingers without consequence.
I’m about to be a father, her name is Bella Madison Gormley (aka Bells aka Maddie).
It’s kind of strange knowing ahead of time that all of this is going to happen, and with that comes a sort of Bizzaro Bucket List (things to do before birth, I mean). I’ve known this was going to happen for months but to actually know, within the hour, when my baby is going to be born is strangely exciting. I like the structure of knowing in lieu of the chaos that ensues in the moments after a woman goes into labor. I have my things packed, Jackie has her things packed, and we’ll be showing up at our scheduled time comfortable and without incident early tomorrow morning. Clean and simple.
As for everything that comes after this week: arriving home, getting situated, and all of the late nights and extremely early mornings; I don’t have much to say that hasn’t already been said on the subject ad nauseam. I’ll gladly roll with the punches and take the good with the bad because I’ve been mentally building up to this point for months to the best of my ability. Coalesce that with the knowledge that I’m with a girl I’m in love with and depend on and I think we have ourselves a winning combination.
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