Andrew Gormley

It seems like such a simple principal.  We don’t befriend people we don’t respect, so why would we choose to work for them?  It’s a difficult and weighty question, especially in this economic climate where finding a job is the equivalent of striking oil in your backyard.  Regardless, it’s a rule I’ve followed since my return to freelancing and as a result I’ve had my share of interviews with people that I’ve respected highly (and “knew enough to be dangerous” in a variety of fields) to people who I knew, from minutes into our conversation, I would simply not work for.

Anyway, this boss of mine was a person who commanded very little respect from his subordinates. The feeling was mutual between the majority of the people that worked there, somedays akin to an Us vs. Him scenario.  He was sleazy and often two-faced, demeaning and a self-admitted control freak.  Despite not knowing the subtleties of the work we did on a day-to-day basis, he would often demand instant results and micromanage our tasks into oblivion.  He gave words of encouragement followed thereafter by all of the things he thought you were doing wrong.  At first I took it as friendly advice, I later learned this is the managerial equivalent of an ultimatum.

Despite what you may think at this point, he wasn’t entirely bad.  He was generous, funny, and involved (even if you didn’t want him to be).  I think on any given day he tried to be both a boss and a friend, which is a difficult and dangerous path to walk.

So why didn’t I quit?  Well, I was young and the pay was good.  I found out the things I now know gradually so by the time I pieced them all together, I already had some seniority at the company – people depending on and looking to me for answers.  Personally, that’s a great feeling because I love learning new things and teaching what I already know to others.  It also offset the negative energy emanating from the boss’ general direction.

I didn’t realize how heavy the albatross around my neck was until I let it sink.  My eyes slowly opened and I saw that it was quickly becoming a job I loathed all because of one person.  The conversations and interactions I had with my coworkers, however miniscule, were the reason I got out of bed every morning.

In short, it doesn’t matter what type of work you’re involved in because respect is universal and intrinsic.  You could respect your boss at McDonald’s because he works his ass off to support his family.  You could also respect your manager in a Fortune 500 company because he runs a marathon twice a year to benefit a noble cause.  Just remember this: Respect is a two way street.  If you’re not getting it, chances are you probably aren’t giving it.