Despite not having a good feeling in my gut about it, and being stuck in an hour’s worth of traffic, and arriving almost 20 minutes late, it was I who decided to walk away. That sounds bad, I realize, but let me explain. When I first spoke on the phone with this prospective employer about a week ago everything seemed great: Nice boss, what sounded like a good work environment, and a place on the ground floor of something that could be big.  This was my element.  I was excited.

Cut to today:

• I’m sitting down and discussing the ins and outs of the job in an apartment-living-room-turned-office – that I could deal with
• I glanced briefly at the “work machines”, running Windows XP, and saw more icons in the taskbar than I could readily count without seeming distracted – that I could deal with
• I was expected to display my coding proficiency in person while two people sat behind me, looking over my shoulder for a majority of the time – even that I could deal with

What I could not deal with, though, was going through every aforementioned thing and, in the end, turning down the job because we couldn’t arrive at an agreeable salary. At this point I politely took control of the conversation, right before my approximately hour long proficiency test, and asked what the pay would be for this position.  After some “Well’s…” and talk about how it’s experience-based and commensurate with job responsibilities I finally posed this scenario to them: Assume I take the test and I’m the perfect candidate. I’m able to code exactly how you like and my design process jives with your business model.  What’s the most you’re willing to pay me from day one?

I’ve been on enough interviews these past months to pick up a thing or two about what I can expect to be paid based on a lot of factors including environment, employer’s technical savvy, what kind of in-house equipment is being utilized, and, perhaps most importantly, language cues. The following terms/phrases don’t bode well for you getting adequate compensation: “start up”, “we’re just getting the ball rolling”, “we can offer you interest in the company”, “barter services”, “we’re currently seeking more capital”, etc. I’ve heard them all and have a rough idea of how to translate each.

I digress. Back to the question I asked…

As you can guess, there’s no way to really wiggle your way out of such a direct question and when I heard the answer I made my decision about working for them, as opposed to the other way around.  I thanked them for their time, wished them luck in finding a suitable candidate, and went on my way.

It’s a difficult thing to do in this economy and especially since I haven’t had a full-time job since around November, but when I consider all of the productive things I could accomplish throughout the course of an eight hour day: learning a new programming language, brushing up on my video editing skills, or just becoming more knowledgeable of new technologies in general; it becomes increasingly frustrating to take a job where you’re being paid 20, sometimes 30 percent less than the value of your combined skills, especially when they’re asking to display hours of your proficiency for a job you’re not guaranteed to get. Do you grab at anything you can get your hands on or do you wait it out, often in difficult circumstances, until the right job comes along?

At the risk of sounding pretentious, the lesson here is: Never settle for less than you’re worth. Know your absolute minimum asking price and don’t haggle unless there’s something of equal value thrown into the ring, like insurance, 401K or something proportionately beneficial to keep you motivated.  

Always be mindful that what you bank every week is not the most important thing.

It seems like such a simple principal.  We don’t befriend people we don’t respect, so why would we choose to work for them?  It’s a difficult and weighty question, especially in this economic climate where finding a job is the equivalent of striking oil in your backyard.  Regardless, it’s a rule I’ve followed since my return to freelancing and as a result I’ve had my share of interviews with people that I’ve respected highly (and “knew enough to be dangerous” in a variety of fields) to people who I knew, from minutes into our conversation, I would simply not work for.

Anyway, this boss of mine was a person who commanded very little respect from his subordinates. The feeling was mutual between the majority of the people that worked there, somedays akin to an Us vs. Him scenario.  He was sleazy and often two-faced, demeaning and a self-admitted control freak.  Despite not knowing the subtleties of the work we did on a day-to-day basis, he would often demand instant results and micromanage our tasks into oblivion.  He gave words of encouragement followed thereafter by all of the things he thought you were doing wrong.  At first I took it as friendly advice, I later learned this is the managerial equivalent of an ultimatum.

Despite what you may think at this point, he wasn’t entirely bad.  He was generous, funny, and involved (even if you didn’t want him to be).  I think on any given day he tried to be both a boss and a friend, which is a difficult and dangerous path to walk.

So why didn’t I quit?  Well, I was young and the pay was good.  I found out the things I now know gradually so by the time I pieced them all together, I already had some seniority at the company – people depending on and looking to me for answers.  Personally, that’s a great feeling because I love learning new things and teaching what I already know to others.  It also offset the negative energy emanating from the boss’ general direction.

I didn’t realize how heavy the albatross around my neck was until I let it sink.  My eyes slowly opened and I saw that it was quickly becoming a job I loathed all because of one person.  The conversations and interactions I had with my coworkers, however miniscule, were the reason I got out of bed every morning.

In short, it doesn’t matter what type of work you’re involved in because respect is universal and intrinsic.  You could respect your boss at McDonald’s because he works his ass off to support his family.  You could also respect your manager in a Fortune 500 company because he runs a marathon twice a year to benefit a noble cause.  Just remember this: Respect is a two way street.  If you’re not getting it, chances are you probably aren’t giving it.